The Good Sleep

How badly have you wanted to get home, hit the bed and just sleep? How bad bad have you tried to just give up and take a nap? Is your dream world your ultimate escape zone? Then you may realize what I am talking about.

Isn’t that what sleep is about? To give your mind a break, to let your brain process the thoughts and memories; and rid you of your daily anxieties. Isn’t your dream world the claymation you love to mold at will.

What do you like to dream about? Me, personally I like to dream about nothing. Like standing in middle of nowhere surrounded by snow.. just snow. No roads, no buildings, no people, just a few trees.. and snow. Or I dream that am lying on a lawn, looking at the pale sun. Not just any lawn, something like the Dothraki Sea.

Yet when am about to wake up, I end up in a dungeon of my dream world. And some wild beast is chasing me (and does a pathetic job at that). Hell I don’t want no dreams. I don’t want anything. I just want to immerse myself in the shallows of sleep. And cut off from the reality I find so hard to keep.

Yet I will have to wake up, and accept the reality with a charm. And keep living like a benevolent soul who means no harm. Days will turn into nights, drowsy will be my eyes. I will again rest like a baby running out of sighs.

It is better to be asleep than to be awake, I say with surety. Rest enough I can’t like a man full of immaturity. Die die die o burning sun. Let me close my eyes for dreams are fun.

And don’t be upset if I don’t see you tonight, trust me I see no one there, does that make it right. Maybe I just love to be alone, to be left, to be undefined. When I lose myself, I am the only one to find.

The Age of Labels and Convenient Truths

The political views are really polarized nowadays. There is no flow of views and opinions about things that matter. It is about fringe ideas and veiled idealism. I will try to express my views mirroring the thoughts of someone with totally opposite viewpoint. I will try to fit into the shoes of a bhagat for the sickular in me. Yet I cannot. There is such a wall in between us.

Suppose you are trying to get DNA match for a court case. Would a 20% match do good? No? Then why are we only looking at a subset of things today. Why it is ok to lap up the tall promises of a leader without reminding (yourself) of their chronic criminality? Why do we support a political party whose existence is false and it is really just a front for a right wing fascist organization?

And why in politics do we have to label our fellow citizens when they don’t agree with the ‘majority’ (which is now approximating 31%)? So all your political pals are activists and your opponents are terrorists? Your identity can make you ineligible to discuss or propagate the ideas for your nation. Now that ‘our’ nation is just a group of islands, filled with people, their out of tune thoughts and boiling pots, our leaders can send us to hell.

{ Programmer’s Oath }

Here are the 9 promises of Uncle Bob’s Programmer’s Oath, from his original 2015 blog post:

  1. I will not produce harmful code.
  2. The code that I produce will always be my best work. I will not knowingly allow code that is defective either in behavior or structure to accumulate.
  3. I will produce, with each release, a quick, sure, and repeatable proof that every element of the code works as it should.
  4. I will make frequent, small, releases so that I do not impede the progress of others.
  5. I will fearlessly and relentlessly improve my creations at every opportunity. I will never degrade them.
  6. I will do all that I can to keep the productivity of myself, and others, as high as possible. I will do nothing that decreases that productivity.
  7. I will continuously ensure that others can cover for me, and that I can cover for them.
  8. I will produce estimates that are honest both in magnitude and precision. I will not make promises without certainty.
  9. I will never stop learning and improving my craft.

The Stare

As Bisman and Soohab slipped into a slumber, I stopped serenading them with my rendition of Channa Mereya. I got down on the wobbly sofa-bed mattress on the floor with Harpreet. And we stared at the ceiling. 

I know it sounds cliched, but she asked me.. what are you thinking? I said I am imagining that there is no ceiling, but we are out in the open and looking at the stars. Instead of floor, we were on lying on the grass. Maybe it was the lawn near NSIT canteen. She laughed. And then without a warning, she fell asleep. 

Truth be told, I wasn’t thinking about the stars. It was just the ceiling. When am aware of it, I look at its familiar pattern at the edges. I can see the marks where the cement was flattened out using a beam. The room has changed, yet it is the same ceiling I have been staring at since 23 years. 

We have removed the chandelier like fan as it induced a fan-fall phobia in me. If that didn’t cure it completely, mom’s shifting of our bed totally against the wall helped. As I write, Bisman turned and rested her back against me. I noticed they look like salt-pepper shakers from behind. Lol.

Breakups

And it really does come down to a really simple rule of life, which is when you break up with somebody, the first rule is no phone calls. The second rule, you don’t go over to their house and drive by to see what they’re doing. The third one is you don’t show up at their coffee shop or the thing … you just say: nope, gone, history — I’m moving forward… Every time you do something like that, you’re opening the wound again, and it just makes it harder for you. You have to put it behind you, and it’s a very, very, very hard thing to do. But you have to just cut it off and say okay, end of ball game. I got to move on. And everything in your body says, don’t, you can’t — and these are my kids.

– Lucas

Time Is A Flat Circle

This could be one of my favorite scenes from True Detective season 1 (until we start discussing others!). But when I see the can being flattened by Rust, I don’t see just time. I see that can full of consciences, thoughts and minds of all the people who have ever lived across time.

And with one smash, it all has been flattened! That means every one is aware of everyone else, and their thoughts from past, present and future. For me that is scary.