Ghost Mirror

I was in a room, not a hotel room. In my right pocket I had bunch of keys, some of them were identical. I sat listening to an essay, how a place has to be anywhere, before it becomes somewhere. How a place is more like a reflection of what people see, so that there are a million cities in a city. And then I thought to myself, I haven’t met any of the people I have known for the last 25 years in the last 5 days. What does that mean? Mind you I had some chats and calls here and there. But I uphold the traditional belief in eye contact and there is more in what meets the eye. Of course, the last one is a faulty human statement and I am not trying to offend the blind. What I am saying is that the world I have perceived in the major part of my life, is gone. In its place is another world, a whole new one with whole new colors. I remember how I projected myself as hundreds of personae when I met different people. Now that am not meeting them, are those projections gone? I used to write cheesy things about how S n S are the only 2 people who can see me as complete. Does the equation no longer hold true, once a part of it has been dropped. And am I just another man without a face? Here where I am, wherever this place is, I am not meeting any new people. Some of those who know me, can’t recall me when they should have. I still go around in their circles, tangent to all their discussions, then retreat. Could this be that part of your journey, where your identity fades away? You leave the heavy baggage behind, and go forth as nothing but footsteps? Am I happy being alone, because somewhere beyond what our eyes see, this universe is of solitary existence, an idle thought, a silent rhyme, churning itself so that parts of it would separate and It may have a friend. Or am I like the wind which runs from place to place, but still cannot escape the air being held together. Or am I the lost animal, drinking on the river bank, watching the animal on the other side (or in the reflection) and never meeting it. I don’t know what to believe in, maybe the empty broken cup by the sidewalk is just filling up with the pouring rain.


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